


Captivity

by Frost_Iron



Series: To Protect What He Loves [2]
Category: Captain America, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-06
Updated: 2012-11-10
Packaged: 2017-11-18 02:58:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/556121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frost_Iron/pseuds/Frost_Iron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After returning from his travels through Russia and taking down a HYDRA Base Bucky slipped back into the ruthless killer that is the Winter Soldier. Now after having remembered once more who he is, the assassin is held in captivity away from everything he loves. These are his memoirs of those events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Continuation of "Travels in Russia". Please read that first so this will make sense to you! Comments/Kudos are always appreciated!

It had been the hardest thing Bucky had to do; leaving Steve again so soon after being reunited but SHIELD wasn't going to let him go free...not after the Winter Soldier had tried once again to kill Captain America. Even he didn't trust himself not to slip unknowingly back into the cold, ruthless killer that he used to be. Though he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with his husband, right now for Steve's safety Bucky had to be locked away.

He had heard Steve's screams for him as SHIELD led him away from the hospital room where things had once more gone to hell. Bucky's heart broke and tears stained his cheeks as he heard his husband cry out for him and knew that even though he wanted nothing more than to run back to him, he had to let SHIELD take him in. 

Bucky was concerned that SHIELD might never let him go again, or that they would torture him for answers. The assassin didn't trust this organization one bit and knew that it was entirely possible he might not ever be coming back to the life he had gotten used to living with Steve. Bucky sighed heavily and climbed into the car that SHIELD had brought around to the front of the building without a struggle. He knew they weren't going to keep him here at HQ where Steve could easily find him; no they would take him far away from everything he knew and loved just so they could get what they wanted.

The assassin shot a sad glance over to the man sitting opposite him; Agent Coulson. Bucky had remembered meeting this man not long after being reunited with Steve the first time around. He was an agent of SHIELD but he was also Steve's biggest fan and Bucky knew that Coulson had been the one to help Steve along after getting out of the ice. Biting his lip and taking a breath, Bucky forced himself to speak.

"Coulson...Sir," he began, his voice shaking slightly as he looked upon the face of the one man he knew he could trust. "I don't have a lot of time and I know that....I'm not sure that I'll ever see Steve again but," he paused, needing a moment to collect himself. "Just watch over him for me, please?" Bucky watched as Coulson simply nodded, his acknowledgement that he would do as Bucky asked. 

It brought the assassin a small amount of relief to know that there would be someone who cared about Steve watching over him and making sure that he was taken care of. The rest of the car ride to the next SHIELD base was spent in silence as Bucky kept his gaze averted to his hands. Though he would never admit to it, he was nervous about what they would do to him to get answers. 

An hour later they had arrived and Bucky was handcuffed and led in to a small room that had a bed, a small desk and a lamp. There wasn't much in the line of things to make him comfortable but he knew he wasn't here for that. After he was uncuffed, he took a seat on the bed and listened as the heavy door to his cell was closed and locked behind him.

Slowly Bucky stood and walked over to the table, noting that there was paper and a pen on the surface. "Well kiddo, maybe I can at least write you," he whispered to the empty room. Bucky took a seat at the table and twirled the pen in between his fingers a few times before taking a deep breath to begin the letter to his husband.

> _Dear Steve,_
> 
> _I'm sorry....I don't know how many times I'll say that but it will never be enough. I'd say it every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of our lives if I thought it would take away the guilt I'm feeling right now. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now and I'm at fault for everything. If your heart is broken and I can't fix it....then please move on from me because I think it's become painfully clear that I ain't any good for you._
> 
> _All I've done for the past few months is hurt you and you deserve so much better than that Steve. You should have settled down with a nice dame, someone who can give you kids and the white picket fence...the entire American Dream that someone as kind as you deserves. At this point I even think Stark would be better suited to taking care of you than I would...scary though there._
> 
> _I should say this now before I don't get the chance to...but I think you need to face the very real possibility that I might never come back. And I don't mean that they'll just hold me here for the rest of my natural life....but you know that SHIELD isn't above torture Steve. I don't know that I have any answers for them that I haven't already given but I'm damn sure they'll do whatever they have to in order to see that I give up everything I know. I'm not going to fight back either....you didn't fight him when it would have saved your life, so I'm not going to either._
> 
> _Sounds morbid saying I deserve this...but if I'm honest, I know that I do. As much as you might not want to admit it, the Winter Soldier is still me, he's a part of me and I'm responsible for his actions. Maybe someday soon we'll meet again and you can tell me about the new life that I expect you to have when I get out of here. Don't wait for me Steve, I'm not worth it. Go and get the life with someone who deserves you._
> 
> _I'll love you always and forever,_
> 
> _James Barnes_

Bucky sighed and put the pen down on top of the letter. At least he knew that these would get to Steve, no matter how long it took to get to him. With that Bucky switched the light on the table off and went to lay down on the bed. Tomorrow was a new day, one not filled with promise but rather filled with the pain of knowing he was so far away from the one person he wanted to be near.

"Love you kiddo," Bucky whispered to the ceiling as he closed his eyes and tried to drift off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The first night spent at SHIELD locked in captivity had been a restless one for Bucky. Though he had never really been able to sleep much when he was over in Russia on his own personal mission, it was worse being here knowing he was trapped and that there was someone waiting just on the other side of the door to get answers out of him by any means possible.

Early the next morning Bucky heard the gears of the door being unlocked as he laid there unmoving on the cot that was set up within the cell. "Get up Barnes, Director wants to see you." Bucky heard the gruff voice of a SHIELD agent speak to him demanding that Bucky get to his feet so he could be taken to see Fury. The assassin wasn't looking forward to this and he was partially nervous that if SHIELD tried torturing answers out of him, the Winter Soldier could end up making a sudden reappearance. If that happened Bucky knew very well that he might end up not getting home to Steve. 

With a sigh and a nod of his head Bucky stood from the bed and allowed himself to be handcuffed and led from the cell down the hall to an interrogation room. The room was small and barren with the exception of a metal table and chair that appeared to be bolted down to the floor. Clearly SHIELD wasn't taking any chances on him escaping from this hell. Bucky was forced down into the chair, his hands restrained further under the table as he waited for Fury to come in and speak with him.

It was a solid hour before the imposing figure of Director Nick Fury walked through the door and into the interrogation room followed surprisingly by Agent Romanov. Bucky raised an eyebrow at Natalia, wondering what reason they could have by bringing her in. He knew that she wouldn't torture him or at least he hoped. As a former Soviet assassin, Bucky was used to dealing with pain but there was no agent better trained to dish it out than Natalia and they both knew that.

Natalia sat in the chair across from him, her red curls falling delicately over over her shoulders as her eyes read concern for him. They had a long history that surely she wasn't going to ignore, but something told him that she wasn't here to offer him sympathy or to take him home to Steve. "What is it you expect from me?" he questioned, making the first move to speak rather than waiting to hear from either of the other two.

"James...we just want to know what happened in Russia," Natalia paused and glanced at Fury before continuing. "We need answers....and we'll get them however we have to," she said softly. Bucky nodded softly, he understood what this meant for him and in this situation he would have gladly given up the information he had to SHIELD but the fact was, he couldn't remember anything from the trip except for the explosion in the kitchen that put him into a coma. 

"Natalia...please I can't remember anything, don't let them hurt me," he pleaded with her quietly. Bucky watched as Fury gave a nod of his head to send Natalia from the room and a large male agent stepped into the room in her place. The assassin put on a calm facade but internally he was scared not knowing just how far Fury would take things to get answers. Moments later when Fury gave another nod and then stepped out of the room, Bucky knew things were about to get bad.

"Tell us what happened in Russia, Barnes." The hulking agent stood over him, his voice intimidating and Bucky searched his mind frantically for the answers that the other wanted but in the end he came up with nothing. "You gotta believe me, I don't remember anything," the assassin spoke firmly as he gazed up at the agent who was now cracking his knuckles. The next thing Bucky remembered was the sound of the SHIELD agent's fist hitting squarely against his nose, the impact sending blood everywhere and pain shooting through Bucky's face.

For the next hour that was how the interrogation proceeded. Bucky was asked a question and when he failed to have the answer, the agent assigned to get the answers would beat him. Soon Bucky heard a knock on the other side of the glass and the agent forced Bucky to his legs which after so much pain, wobbled when he stood. Without a single explanation of what was to become of him, he was thrown back inside of his cell and the door was slammed shut behind him. "What the fuck..." he groaned, moving to stand in front of the small mirror that hung on the wall there.

Bucky braced a hand on the wall and stared into the reflection of his badly beaten face. Bruises were blooming across his cheek bones and his already hollowed out eyes looked worn and tired. Dried blood stained his face and parts of his shirt. A weary sigh passed through him as he finally gave up on looking at himself and stumbled over to the table and chair to try and write a letter to Steve.

> _Dear Steve,_
> 
> _I'm struggling to write to you today and I know that I owe you all of the information I could possibly give you about what's been going on here but if I do that, there is a chance you might not get this letter._
> 
> _What I can say is that I miss you like crazy and I wish that I could be with you right now because having to spend this much time away from you again is killing me. Having to hear you yell after me in the hospital broke my heart because I wanted nothing more than to run back to you and kiss all of the pain and heartache away. There is a part of me that knows there is a chance that when and if I get out of here, you might not be waiting for me._
> 
> _I hope that if you don't want me back in your life that you'll move on to someone who won't hurt you like I have. No matter how much I hate that I've had to do this to you, I wouldn't take it back because I know that I did this to protect you. Don't even bother saying that you could protect yourself because I wouldn't forgive myself if I had just sat back and allowed something to happen to you._
> 
> _I can't say much about what's happened so far....but what I can say is that I hope you'll be able to recognize my face when I see you again. I'm in some pain but don't worry your pretty head about me, just worry about protecting the country that I know you love. I hear them at the door now so I'll keep this short and just say that I love you. I hope to see you soon._
> 
> _Love always and forever,_
> 
> _James Barnes_

Bucky placed the pen down and sealed the letter inside of an envelope just as his door opened and Natalia walked in with a tray of food, a glass of water, and some pain pills. Without a word to the woman he had once trusted, he took the items and set them on the table, stubbornly ignoring them. The assassin noted how Natalia simply took her leave seeing how Bucky had no intention of speaking to her. 

After the door closed again Bucky reluctantly took the medication but ignored the food, deciding instead to lay down and close his eyes. The assassin wished he could just go back to the months ago, wanting Steve to be holding him close so he could get some sleep. With a sigh Bucky pulled the blankets up over his body and closed his eyes. "Sleep tight kiddo...maybe tomorrow will be a better day," he whispered into the dark and empty cell.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair amount of graphic violence in this chapter, please skip if you do not wish to read it.

Bucky awoke the next morning to the smell of coffee brewing and the sound of bacon sizzling. The assassin stretched and sat up in bed, the fabric of the silk sheets pooling around his bare waist as he shifted his gaze to stare out of the window which was streaming in the soft glow of morning sunshine. A yawn passed through Bucky's body as he swung his feet over the edge of the bed, bare feet touching the chilled wooden floor. 

He lifted his arms over his head and stood, stretching and pulling on some sweatpants. Softly Bucky padded into the kitchen with the intention of sneaking up behind Steve and surprising him with a morning kiss. Bucky peeked quickly around the corner into the kitchen, a grin tracing the corners of his mouth as he saw the shape of his husband standing in front of the stove working on breakfast.

Quietly the assassin crept up behind his husband, wrapping both his natural and metal arm around Steve's waist to turn him around. Bucky looked up expectantly, waiting anxiously to stare into the deep blue eyes and kiss those perfectly soft lips but instead what he got when his husband turned around caused him to stumble backwards. The view before him was horrifying and no matter how many times he tried to blink it away nothing worked.

Before him stood Steve, but in place of his beautiful blue eyes, it looked as though someone had taken their thumbs and simply pushed as they could. There was blood streaking his husband's face and his wrist was bent at an odd angle suggesting that it was broken. Bucky's eyes traced over Steve's body in absolute horror, his eyes finding signs of a struggle. The assassin's lip trembled slightly as he took another step towards Steve. Before words could leave his mouth, his husband's deep voice shook the room. 

"You did this to me," Steve said. Bucky didn't have time to truly process the thought before the shape that was his husband's neck gave a sharp jerk, twisted, and made a terrifying crunching sound and snapped itself. 

The scream that tore through the assassin caused him to jolt up in his true bed, back in his cell within SHIELD. His heart raced as his eyes adjusted to the dark interior of the small room and he groped around for the light switch. As soon as Bucky flipped on the light, the same vision from his nightmare flashed before his eyes, startling him once more.

He stumbled to his feet and over to the small attached bathroom where he promptly fell to the floor in front of the toilet. Bucky's stomach wrenched as visions of what he had seen and the haunting words, "You did this to me", rang through his ears. A noiseless sob wracked his body as he allowed himself to simply collapse on the tiled bathroom floor. Every inch of him was disgusted because the worst part of it, was that the Winter Soldier had harmed Steve; it was the reason he was here at SHIELD.

Bucky rested there for a good hour before getting to his feet and slowly walking over to the table where he had taken to writing letters to his husband. The broken man that sat there at the small table had absolutely no idea what to put in a letter to the husband he had just had a nightmare about killing. None the less he knew that he had to write to him in order to get his mind off of what had just happened.

> _Dear Steve,_
> 
> _I think I sat here for a good ten minutes today before even trying to get my hand to stop shaking so that this would be legible. I had a nightmare that was different than the usual ones of falling away from you, or of the Red Room. In this one I was faced with what I could have done to you if I couldn't get control over the Winter Soldier. Just the thought of that made me physically ill, so even though I miss you, I know that I am in the right place right now because that means you're safer._
> 
> _Do you miss me? That's a stupid question I know... but honestly, given all I've done to you I know that there is a chance you won't want me when I get out of here. Maybe soon enough they'll realize that I don't have answers for them and they will let me see you again. God I miss you more than anything in the world and even though I know it was a nightmare.....there is a part of me that absolutely needs to know that you're physically okay._
> 
> _I wonder if you're even getting these stupid little letters that I send to you. If you do...just know that I'm doing everything I can to make sure that I make it out to get back into your arms just as soon as I can. I love you more than anything kiddo, I hope you know that._
> 
> _[Bucky sighed and let a few tears fall to the page]_
> 
> _I should keep this short, I can hear them opening the door now to take me in for more questioning. With any luck I'll be back to you and we can work on starting over...I love you Stevie._
> 
> _Yours always and forever,_
> 
> _James Barnes_

Bucky placed the pen down just as a few SHIELD agents stepped into his cell and forced him to stand from the chair. They cuffed him and led the assassin away for another long round of torture and questioning that he knew would leave his face nearly unrecognizable by the end of it. With a small sigh Bucky tipped his head forward and whispered something audible only to himself. "If I live through this....I'm never leaving you again Stevie."


	4. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> {This chapter is a drabble from Steve's POV written by the lovely CaptainOfTheIce, found on Tumblr}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated!

The Captain stole a quick glance to the clock behind him as he shook his head. The days dragged, nights dragged even more and each day was like it’s own personal hell. Everyday when he went in to SHIELD he asked for information and was brushed off. Every day there was nothing and he didn’t even know if he’d ever see Bucky again. He didn’t know if his husband would ever get out of this alive and all he had were a few letters mysteriously placed in his mail box every now and again. Steve had placed the letters under his pillow hope that they would help to keep Bucky as close as possible. But now? As he stared down at the newest letter he sighed. There was a heavy ache in his stomach as he stood there lifting his gaze and returning it back to the clock. 7:30pm. He sighed and reached up to fumble with the tie he currently had on.

Steve was well dressed for a formal event held by Tony for something or other. Steve had failed to really listen, not that he understood any of that technology stuff anyway. It all tended to go way over his head and then some. Steve had even agreed to endure that idea of a date because Tony and Sharon wouldn’t drop the subject despite his efforts. They reminded him how it had been months and Bucky wanted him to move on and he had never done that; he couldn’t to be honest. He was merely humouring them. He knew moving on wasn’t really something he could do. Bucky was the love of his life even if he had walked out on him.  _Abandoned you_. The thought trickled across his mind and he swallowed hard. Steve reached out and grabbed his cellphone placing it in into the inside pocket of his coat. “Just survive the night, be a gentleman, drop Sharon off at home and it’ll be good.” He muttered quietly to himself.

The night went on as expected. Tony was a hit. He always was he never failed to impress his fans and well the ladies. Steve had no idea how much he had drank but it was the only thing that was getting him through the night which was quickly becoming a blur. Half a year. 6 months. It had been 6 months since he had last held Bucky. 6 months since he had last kissed him. 6 months since he had been with Bucky. The pain in his chest from that was indescribable. He hurt everywhere, and all the time. Steve took a breath as he set his glass down having lost count of what number it was. 

“Steve…” Sharon spoke up from behind him and he turned around to face her with a faint smile.

“Hey…..You ready to go?” He asked the blonde in a light tone as he pushed a hand over his head and took a breath. He would not cry. Not tonight. He did nothing but cry. He was tired of crying. He was tired of being that person. The one that couldn’t sleep without crying himself to sleep, or breaking at any thought of him. He was tired of crying all the time. He was just tired. He had been left again. Abandoned and when hope had shown and Bucky had been back it had been ripped away again. He was alone in a world he hated and didn’t understand. A world he didn’t want to understand because he was to busy crying.

“I’m ready.” She spoke lightly as she reached out and took his hand squeezing to provide the Captain with some kind of reassurance. She gave him a light smile and with that they were heading for the exit. 

Steve was more than ready to get out of there anyway. He needed to get out of there and get some fresh air. “I don’t think I’ve ever um….I’ve never actually seen your place which way is it?” He asked as the fresh air collided with him and he took a breath. When Sharon pointed him in the right direction he began to walk with her. Conversation was simple, easy, and not even remotely close to a topic related to Bucky. The conversation was exactly what Steve needed. They reached Sharon’s apartment with little trouble and Steve walked her to the door like a true gentleman. The rest of the night after he stepped onto that front step quickly became a blur. 

————

Steve woke the next morning his head pounding as the sun shined on his face. He opened his eyes and reached a hand up slowly to his temple. He groaned and blinked a few times before he turned his head and looked beside him. He swallowed hard as he realized just where he was and what had obviously happened that night. Sharon was resting beside him still fast asleep and he felt instantly ashamed of himself. His head fell back into the pillow and he stared up at the ceiling above him. He closed his eyes as he felt tears building in his eyes. He felt sick to his stomach and as he turned his head and looked towards Sharon he sobbed quietly to himself. 

After a moment Steve finally pulled himself together and climbed from the bed. He gathered his pants and shirt which he pulled on quickly grabbed grabbing his coat. He pulled them on in a rush and after writing a quick note that read;

> _I’ll call you tonight_
> 
> _\- Steve_

_  
_He made for the front door and left without another word. As he reached the street he felt his tears building even more at the thought of what he had done. He felt guilty, ashamed and so many mixes of emotions. Not to mention he hated himself and felt like he was going to be sick to his stomach at the very though that he could have actually done this. Steve managed to get himself home and as he shut the door he fell against it hard his body exhausted and his mind racing as he stood there. He squeezed his eyes shut the fight his tears as he tried to fight the idea that he had actually spent the night with Sharon.

Finally he pushed himself off the door and headed for the counter. He began to write upon a piece of paper. It wasn’t much but it was something he felt he needed to write out. It didn’t matter that it had been 6 months since Bucky had walked out on him. Six months since he’d seen him, or been with him. It didn’t matter that Bucky insisted he find someone else because he didn’t want too. He’d just been drinking and his emotions had gotten the better of him. As Steve set the pen down he looked over the words;

> _I did something I regret. Something I loathe. I’m afraid if you find out you’ll hate me and I’ll never get you back. But I have to tell you. Don’t I? I hate myself for last night even though I can’t remember it. I had a few drinks, and my emotions are all over the place. Although that’s no excuse. There is no excuse. I love you and I screwed up. But then again so did you._
> 
> _You left me. You had me and you left. What am I suppose to do about that? I’m so sick of crying, Bucky. I just want you to come home but now I’m not sure you’d want to be here anyway. I can’t lose you but you left me. Maybe you lost me? I doubt SHIELD will actually give you this but I screwed up and I  found comfort somewhere for a night. I drank, I let my sadness drive me, and I made a mistake._
> 
> _If you get out and you don’t come home I’ll understand. But I still love you. You left me…..You left me and I can’t deal with that. I’m not dealing with that. I’m broken._
> 
> _Love always,_
> 
> _Steve_

Steve folded up the paper making a note to send it later but first he needed to shower. He pulled his coat off, and his shirt, and everything one by one as he reached the bathroom. He began to run the water and finally stepped inside. Although the water rushed over him he didn’t feel any cleaner. He felt his tears beginning to mix with the water that washed over him as he began to quietly sob to himself. His hands reaching out to press against the shower wall as he stood under the water and let his tears fall. He hated to cry but he had too. He couldn’t hold it back not with the guilt that had built up. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered quietly. 


	5. Chapter 5

Today was a good day for once and Bucky was pleased with himself. He had finally remembered what had happened in Russia and so he had avoided the majority of the beatings with only a few punches placed to his face as they walked him back to his cell. SHIELD had informed him that he would be staying the remainder of the night there on base and in the morning they would take him back to his home in Brooklyn with Steve.

Despite the pain it was causing his face, Bucky couldn't and wouldn't get rid of the goofy smile that lit up his entire face. He was far too happy that after nearly half a year he was getting to go home to his husband where he belonged. He was so overjoyed that even the loud intimidating sound of his cell door being locked into place didn't bother him.

The assassin stretched a little and walked over to his desk to begin his last letter to Steve, one that would reach him just before Bucky would be released from SHIELD's hold. As he reached for the piece of paper he noticed a small envelope with his name in Steve's handwriting on it. In the entire 5 months that he had been in here, he couldn't recall getting a letter from Steve; if he had, he would have saved it.

Tilting his head to the side, curious as to the contents of the envelope Bucky opened it. Before he removed the letter from the envelope he held it tightly to his chest, inhaling the still present scent of his husband that lingered upon the paper. It had been months since he had been held by Steve and this was as close as he would get until they released him. Finally after what seemed like hours, Bucky removed the letter from the envelope and read it over.

"What..." Bucky stumbled to find words as silent tears dripped down onto the paper. He had told Steve to move on without him and now the day before he was due to go home, he found out that his husband had done just that. To say that Bucky's heart was broken would have been an understatement. He felt as though someone had reached in and ripped his heart from his chest, crushing it before him as he stood there and died slowly.

Bucky re-read the letter a few more times before simply allowing it to fall back down onto the table. A sudden fit of rage quickly set in, something Bucky hadn't felt in some time. "Fuck!" he swore, sweeping his arms over the table, knocking everything off of it and onto the floor. The assassin stormed into the bathroom and stood with his hands braced against the sink as he stared into the reflection in the mirror that stared right back to him. 

"You did this....you ruined fucking everything you miserable piece of shit," he whispered harshly at the reflection. When he could take in no longer, Bucky took his fist and slammed it through the mirror, shattering it into tiny pieces, which scattered across the bathroom. He didn't care that he had cut his hand, likely bad enough to need stitches...he just hated himself enough for letting this happen that nothing mattered anymore.

He decided then and there that this wasn't fair to Steve...he had after all told him to move on in his absence and this was what he wanted wasn't it? For Steve to find love again? He sighed and looked down at his injured hand; "You can do this Buck-...James," he said to himself softly. "You'll just accept this for whatever it is and put on the facade that you have practiced," he stated, forcing himself to accept this.

Bucky took a deep breath and nodded to himself, bandaging his hand quickly so he could write one final letter to his husba-...friend, Steve. With the piece of paper he began writing, not knowing where this letter was going.

> _Dear Steve,_
> 
> _I got your letter. I don't have much to say in this letter back to you except that I'm happy for you. You deserve to find happiness with someone who doesn't complicate your life or hurt you even unintentionally. I don't expect that I'll be seeing you anytime soon but I want you to know that if it matters at all anymore, you don't have to worry about me. I'll be right as rain once SHIELD lets me out of this cage._
> 
> _Maybe one day in the future when you've settled down some more with your new dame, you can introduce me. I should probably stop by at some point and get my things from the apartment, unless you want to just pack them up and I can have SHIELD pick them up. Either way is fine with me kiddo, I've no problem packing it myself._
> 
> _One last thing before I do go...I just want you to know that I'm not mad or upset, this didn't hurt me because in the end it was what I expected because you deserve happiness and if I'm not the one to give you that, I'm glad someone else could. I'll always love you kiddo...just now it will be more like before the war, just two best friends._
> 
> _I'll see you at some point Stevie...have a good life until then._
> 
> _Sincerely,_
> 
> _James Barnes_

Bucky folded the letter, brushing away the tears that fell onto his cheeks as he moved along to finish everything before his release from SHIELD. The assassin had no idea where he would go now, be he supposed that there was always some foreign mission to be completed where he could get far away from Steve and his new gal. With a large sigh and a heavy heart, Bucky laid down on the cot for the last time, thoughts of Steve at the front of his brain as always. "I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough Stevie," he whispered, closing his eyes to try and sleep.


End file.
